The Price for a Brain

In the hospital the relatives gathered in the waiting room, where their family member lay gravely ill. Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and somber. "I'm afraid I'm the bearer of bad news," he said as he surveyed the worried faces. "The only hope left for your loved one at this time is a brain transplant. It's an experimental procedure, very risky but it is the only hope." "Insurance will cover the procedure, but you will have to pay for the brain yourselves." The family members sat silent as they absorbed the news. 

After a great length of time, someone asked, "Well, how much does a brain cost?" The doctor quickly responded, "$5,000 for a male brain, and $200 for a female brain." The moment turned awkward. Men in the room tried not to smile, avoiding eye contact with the women, but some actually smirked. A man, unable to control his curiosity, blurted out the question everyone wanted to ask, "Why is the male brain so much more?" 

The doctor smiled at the childish innocence and explained to the entire group, "It's just standard pricing procedure. We have to mark down the price of the female brains, because they've actually been used." 

Three Sisters

Three sisters ages 92, 94, and 96 live in a house together. One night, the 96 year-old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and pauses. She yells down the stairs, "Was I getting in or out of the bath?" 

The 94 year-old yells back, "I don't know. I'll come up and see." She starts up the stairs and pauses. Then she yells, "Was I going up the stairs or down?" 

The 92 year-old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea, listening to her sisters. She shakes her head and says, "I sure hope I never get that forgetful." She knocks on wood for good measure. 

She then yells, "I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door." 

The Endless Mind!

I decide to wash the car. 

I start toward the garage and notice the mail on the table. 

Ok, I'm going to wash the car, but first I'm going to go through the mail. 

I lay the car keys down on the desk, discard the junk mail and I notice the trash can is full. 

Ok, I'll just put the bills on my desk and take the trashcan out, but since I'm going to be near the mailbox anyway, I'll pay these few bills first. 

Now, where is my checkbook? 

Oops, there's only one check left. My extra checks are in my desk. 

Oh, there's the coke I was drinking. 

I'm going to look for those checks. 

But first I need to put my coke further away from the computer, or maybe I'll pop it into the fridge to keep it cold for a while. 

I head towards the kitchen and the vase of flowers catch my eye, they need some water. 

I set the coke on the counter and uh oh! There are my glasses. I was looking for them all morning! 

I'd better put them away first. 

I fill a container with water and head for the flower pots Aaaaaagh! Someone left the TV remote in the kitchen. 

We will never think to look in the kitchen tonight when we want to watch television so I'd better put it back in the family room where it belongs. 

I splash some water into the vase and onto the floor, I throw the remote onto a soft cushion on the sofa and I head back down the hall trying to figure out what it was I was going to do? 

End of Day: 

The car isn't washed, 
the bills are unpaid, 
the coke is sitting on the kitchen counter, 
the flowers are half watered, 
the checkbook still only has one check in it 
and I can't seem to find my car keys! 


When I try to figure out how come nothing got done today, I'm baffled because I KNOW I WAS BUSY ALL DAY LONG!!! I realize this is a serious condition and I'll get help, BUT FIRST I think I'll check my e-mail...

 

 

 

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"Let food be thy medicine.'' 
 -- Hippocrates circa 431 B. C.

 

"My son, pay attention to what I say: listen closely to my words.  Do not let them out of your sight, keep them within your heart; for they are life to those who find them and HEALTH to a man's whole body.  Above all guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life."
-- Proverbs 4:20-23.